| Wednesday, January 6th, 2010 |
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Nouveau layout avec un dessin commandé à la talentueuse ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} pot_forever qui m'a fait Raphaël, un de mes personnages. Il est pas bô mon lj tout neuf?chatiel |
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| Tuesday, January 5th, 2010 |
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How is that NOT supposed to be homophobic? O__O About to have a lecture... will write more on the incident later. Note: Incident is NOT school related. Love,love,LOVE on this Who wants to see some of my writing and give me feedback quickly? :P |
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| Monday, January 4th, 2010 |
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Whoever said Goddard was an easy school to get into can suck it. There are ~200 students here, tops. 28 people were accepted as new students for this semester, me included. A bunch of those students are graduating. People are coming to Goddard from everywhere, including Costa Rica and England One of their most recent graduates just got a 6-digit figure deal on a book. Two others had their screen plays purchased. One of the past students had a book that was turned into a screen play and won an Oscar, supposedly. I don't know about the rest of it, but the faculty meeting was really damn good. ... and, for the next 15 weeks, I will have to read and annotate 12-15 books, write two 5-page critical theory papers, and get started on my fiction manuscript. |
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Would anyone who Sama isn't avidly ignoring tell her to mail me my fucking scanner with the tracking number sent to me AND insurance OR fucking pay up? This is ethically wrong. I was nice enough to give her an opportunity to get her art up with that trade because I wanted to help and thought I could trust her. |
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| Sunday, January 3rd, 2010 |
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Figured I might as well post my new years resolutions. Hope I can hold to them. :P I hope that everyone is having a good new year and happy times. 6) Work on my depression. 5) Be more social. 4) Do well in school. 3) Get in shape. 2) Eat better. 1) Spend less time on the computer. |
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thoughtful.
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Every day & night I’ll always be with you Dear My Friend Every day & night I’ll always be with you Just talking with you isn’t enough The sunset dyes the city It doesn’t go as easily as I think When I realized it we were crying together Love, dreams, flowers, rainbows and the wind Let’s seize it all! It’s all right! Cheer up, I’m right beside you Instead of dwelling on today’s mistakes overcome them It’s all right! Without losing our way let’s head towards the unseen future And walk on forever Dear My Friend Every day & night I’ll always be with you Dear My Friend Every day & night I’ll always be with you If it’s me I’m bothered by many things but Even if I think about them the answer won’t come out… If I look up I’ll see the first star in the sky sparkling Isn’t it beautiful? All of a sudden a smile escapes Love, dishonor, past, present and tomorrow Let’s take it all It’s all right! I’ll show you my courage, I’m not alone Without giving up or hesitating take a step forward It’s all right! Without rushing let’s fulfill each wish one by one And I’m sure we’ll become happy 5 years from now, 10 years from now, I wonder how things will change…? Even if we’re separated by distance I hope we’ll all be happy!! It’s all right! Believe me, the future is waiting Today will be a little brighter than yesterday It’s all right! Without losing our way let’s head towards the unseen future And walk on forever Dear My Friend Every day & night I’ll always be with you Dear My Friend Every day & night I’ll always be with you  |
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indescribable.| Saturday, January 2nd, 2010 |
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I always seem to have the hardest time choosing the best ending themes. While the anime field seems consistent in producing great openings to catch viewers interests, they seem to not put forth as much effort (in general) on the ending sequences. I managed to group together my favorites of the year here; but honestly had a little trouble finding 10 that I loved. :P I hope that you will like and enjoy nevertheless! ( Open and Close ) |
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pensive.
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Just decided to post a few of my favorite anime openings and closing of the year; as something fun to do. :P Hope you enjoy! ( Open and Close ) |
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mellow.
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Amtrak- New York - Penn Station, NY (NYP) to Montpelier-Barre, VT (MPR) 03-JAN-10; 11:30 am - 03-JAN-10; 8:02 pm Payless Cab- Montpelier-Barre to Goddard 8:10 pm - $20!!!! +$5 tip? That's appropriate? Or should I do less? SOOO, including my return home... $99.90 (amtrak) $50 (taxi + tip) $18.50 (nj transit) = $168.50 Not TOO bad for doing the grad school shebang. ... then, of course, I need to print out the stuff on loans and decide which one I'm going to take, and also I think I need to put down $2300 for about 30% of the semester's tuition+room/board... I could take out $10,250 as a loan but... am VERY hesitant to do that since it would be longer for me paying it back... even though, thinking about it, after tuition getting $2000 right now would be VERY nice. INCREDIBLY nice, actually.... But I think I want to be/stay responsible. ... so who wants to buy cosplay items/wigs/books/manga/anime or do trades with them for unitards+painting/warmers/collars? :P (Really not joking on that, actually...) Would let a LOT of stuff go... |
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hopeful.| Friday, January 1st, 2010 |
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So; my journal is back up. I had a long discussion with mizuki_hana2 about many things and decided that I've invested too much time and effort into my journal to just get rid of it because I was angry. However, there was something that disturbed me. Mizuki basically said that I don't use my Live Journal correctly and would never understand because I don't vent about things and use it to blow off my anger. Is is wrong to want the just share the happy times and fun things with my friends and not burden them with my problems? Am I using LJ wrong? I think, personally, that it's a matter of opinion. However, it still hurt and made me wonder. I'm not in some alternate mindset where I think everything is sunshine and rainbows. Anyone who has read my Journal over the past 5 years has seen that. I get depressed and don't write for periods because, again, I don't want to just post negative things and feed into my depression. I can totally understand if a person has a problem and needs some advice. It would definitely turn to my LJ friends at a time like like that; as I am now. But I just can't see posting day after day after day of anger and issues. I would say about 97% of my friends don't do that. Sometimes yes; but more often then not they post updates on their life and what is going on with their families or pictures or anime news for fun. So am I using my LJ wrong? I would just like to hear what people have to say, your opinions on the matter. Anything goes and I will understand and respect anyone who says that I am indeed using LJ wrong... Many thanks guys.
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contemplative.
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I fell asleep around 4:00 am because yesterday I had my meds late. I woke up at 9:20 am because I kinda suck. Actually, I'm glad that I woke up earlier rather than later because of the Goddard schedule I need to get on but yeah, very tired. Today's plans: clean the house, more laundry, pack, work on wig stuff. Need to get at some point (but not today): hot glue... and maybe a new hot glue gun since mine disappeared... ugh. To My Cats Costuming Friends: Are there generic people outlines that you guys use when creating OC designs? I want to get working on two of mine at some point, but one in particular, like, I need to see a few ideas since I could see her going multiple ways. Ugh, I just wish my art skills were better, and that it was easier to do things with charcoal coloring. ): |
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| 2010 FOOLS! | ||||||
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| Thursday, December 31st, 2009 |
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1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before? Confessed the most horrible secret I'd harbored for six years only to discover it actually wasn't my fault and someone had lied to me--could have saved 30 lbs, a lot of grief, and therapy had I known sooner... 2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I was unable to finish GRAVITY'S RAINBOW, so no. ): 3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Yes--welcome, little Emersyn. 4. Did anyone close to you die? Yes. I'm sorry, Uncle Rick. 5. What countries did you visit? None. 6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009? A full-time job, more time to ride, dance lessons, more hours in the day, more writing progress. 7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? Really hard to say... 2009 was incredibly turbulent. 8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Graduating with a B.A. and getting into the M.F.A. program at Goddard (where I'll be going in just a few days). 9. What was your biggest failure? Not severing ties with enough harmful people, dating someone that was really unhealthy for me, not getting over someone. 10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Both. 11. What was the best thing you bought? Jeez... hard to say. I think the crepe wool hair bundle from Shadow will probably be near the top as well as tickets for Cats. 12. Whose behavior merited celebration? Not sure. 13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Someone who ended up being a complete liar. 14. Where did most of your money go? Rent 15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Visits with friends. 16. What song will always remind you of 2009? "Bad Romance" by Lady Gaga. It's inevitable. And, thanks to a certain bastardization, "Growltiger's Last 'ants'." You don't want to know. Trust me. 17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer? Sadder, fatter, poorer. Fuck, man. 18. What do you wish you'd done more of? Riding horses, sewing cosplays. 19. What do you wish you'd done less of? Well, there was this song that once went, "No more staring at the phone while you're out with somebody else. No more staying at home alone, I can do better by myself." 20. How did you spend Christmas? It was actually really nice, save for the screaming children. 21. Did you fall in love in 2009? I wouldn't say fall in love, but I loved, and continued to love. 22. What was your favorite TV program? South Park and House (same as always)--God, I miss all the adventures with Chase in Space. 23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? Yup! A few people, one to the extent of being dead to me. 24. What was the best book you read? The best book I read in 2009 by far was Alex Garland's THE BEACH. 25. What was your greatest musical discovery? I think it'd be the Vienna cast of Cats (HURR HURR HURR DID U SEE WHAT I DID THAR WITH MUSICAL? HURR HURR HURR I IZ FUNNY!) Okay, no, really, um... probably Lady Gaga. SHUT UP, DON'T JUDGE ME! 26. What did you want and get? "He said, "I know what I want, and I want it now, I want you 'cause I'm Mr. Vain"." In other words, absolutely nothing. 27. What did you want and not get? The ability to see Kale this summer. 28. What was your favorite film of this year? District 9 and Precious. 29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? 24, and I did nothing because no one wanted to do anything and a bunch of my friends forgot it was my bday, lol. 30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? I really did want something for my bday, like a get together. It kinda hurt my feelings that despite asking three or four times no one wanted to. 31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009? Back in riding apparel, ooh la la. 32. What kept you sane? Meds. lol 33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Gareth David-Lloyd and Perez Hilton. 34. What political issue stirred you the most? United Healthcare-- I'M ALL FOR IT! 35. Who did you miss? Kale, Rem, and Kevin. 36. Who was the best new person you met? I'd say EVERYONE I friended from Equestrian on LJ and the CCDB. Super HUGE shout outs to Taintie (POR QUE?!?! POR QUE?!?!?!?), Shadow, Carrie, and Dylan. SEKRITTTTTTTTOMG, I've known you more than a year, right? If not, you're of course on the list but I'm convinced I've known you two years. 37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009: Expiration Dates on Food Labels. Never. Again. 38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: "Well, I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell. I know right now you can't tell" - Matchbox 20 annnnd: "Turn around, every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming 'round. Every now and then, I fall apart. And I need you now tonight, and I need you more than ever. And if you only hold me tight, we'll be holding on forever." - Bonnie Tyler |
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Like seriously, I need a good one, one that I'd be able to follow and feel good about myself for. I'm tossing around a few ideas but nothing seems to sound "right" if that makes any sense. What are your New Year's Resolutions I'm thinking maybe along the lines of: -something with losing the weight I put on when I switched meds and got really depressed this year -be extremely diligent with my grad school work -move out -try to do something creative any time I'm down rather than mope and wallow -do things for FUN rather than just being the best and build self-confidence that way Any of those sound good? Any suggestions? |
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| Wednesday, December 30th, 2009 |
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So, I emailed that dance place that I was worried about for sounding "cheesy" and got an incredibly nice email back that was informative and really helpful. She told me that the ballet and hip hop classes for adult were geared for beginners but the tap class was more advanced beginner and intermediate. She emphasized that the classes were also very small, and said if I did have interest in tap as well she'd suggest me taking one or two private lessons in it before working with the class since, as an adult, she thinks I'd learn pretty quickly. Emailed her back to thank her for the info, ask about fees and dress code. Got an awesome reply: "The dress code is seriously whatever you are comfortable in. People tend to wear what the dance style would be... so... Sweats and hoodies with tanks underneath and sneakers for HipHop. Sweats or shorts and t shirts for Tap, with Tap shoes of course. For ballet usually tights and tighter shorts and camisol tops or short sleeve tighter fitting tops and ballet shoes. Adults not comfortable in these wear sweats and T's. Or variations of the above. Lessons are 90$/for a ten class card or 12$/class as a walk in. Private instruction is $96/hour. and $48/1/2hour" So uh, yeah, I'm thinking maybe do the $90 for 10 classes rather than private at the beginning since well, I'm a beginner. If I decide to pick up jazz, then maybe two half-hour privates, or maybe even the hour though I think I'd be pretty exhausted. I kinda want to do a unitard for ballet though. >.> But I don't want to look weird next to everyone else. Hhnnnnnn. Did errands today, a bunch of them: -mailed the red pimp coat to Taintie (xchange for cosplay woohoo!) -deposited check @ bank (woohoo!) -dropped off dry cleaning for mom -touched base with Ted; really sick now but going to try to meet up with him later today |
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| Monday, December 28th, 2009 |
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RULES: 1. Pick your birth month. 2. Strike out anything that doesn't apply to you. 3. Bold the four that best apply to you. 4. Post birth month results here. 5. Copy to your own journal, with all twelve months under a cut. NOVEMBER: Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. ( The Other Months ) |
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I've been in a pretty bad mood since last night that hasn't quite subsided. Actually, I should clarify that it's not really a bad mood but some bouts of anger as, today, I'm actually having a really good day. Modeling is going over pretty well, I have my interview tomorrow (will call the Jobsthatmatter.org place about a problem with the first day being tomorrow as I found a place with census workers (where I'd definitely be able to get a job)) that starts at $13.50/hr instead of $9/hr, and goes up to $20.25/hr instead of $14/hr. I believe it's also closer than New Brunswick, though it definitely is temporary. They say flexible schedule up to 40 hrs/week, so maybe I can do something like that in addition to modeling if I don't get this new job as a program assistant. Either way, let's see what else is new. Um, oh yeah. Wrote an article (sample one) to use and deciding on a fiction sample for two writing samples, am going to do up the reference list tonight, and also will print out a list of duties/things I did as a Program Assistant at MSU. I'm hoping I get this job since I bet it'd be a blast! Hopefully I do, and hopefully they'd understand that I have one week for my residency, then could start in. I'm also hoping that their version of PT is 3-4 days a week, not 5-6 but just for very few hours. This stuff is making me ridiculously busy, but I suppose it happens. Goals: -make enough income to move out and get my own place or have a responsible roomie -be able to continue riding -take up ballet lessons (or maybe jazz or tap) -maybe see about some vocal training since my voice got so horrible Man, where the hell do I find these places for lessons when they all seemed to be geared toward children? Oy. |
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| Sunday, December 27th, 2009 |
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I have re-routed half your head because I decided that you were too red. I'm slaving over mixing a light gray with white and an orange with brown to try and get the right tones. I use a hint of black. I have used 6 colors for you so far, done half your bangs, a good third of the back, and am going strong-- So why the hell don't you look anything remotely like Tumblebrutus?! And what can I do to make you look like him? Add more hair? Start doing somersaults? Temporarily adopt someone obnoxious to be a brother? ( The Wig In Question (Plus my Expressions) ) Suggestions on how to fix that travesty? And also, any opinions on other cats I should cosplay as? Mistoffelees is gonna be in the bag (as per vote), and probably Tumblebrutus because he's fun (if this damn wig works). But yeah, open to all ideas. Who'd I work well as? Who do I look like?  
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| Thursday, December 24th, 2009 |
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Nine Things About Myself: 1) Do not tickle me. It's physically painful for me, and I laugh by instinct. I'm not just playing coy. 2) I'm bigender. I am more than happy to talk about my bigenderism. It's none of your business to know what's in my pants unless we're having sex. That said, it's really NOT okay to be groping me in public to try and find out. 3) I'm not a rabid yaoi/slash fan. I love any pairing that makes sense. I prefer RPing yaoi because it's easier for me to do and, quite frankly, my RP partners usually hate het and yuri. 4) Is it weird that despite me having a huge preference for men (save for a few exceptions) that I absolutely LOVE RPing some good yuri/femslash and DEFINITELY have my yuri pairings? Like, if we're talking Cats, my absolute FAVORITE yuri pairing by far is Jemima/Etcetera without question (though I absolutely love Tumblebrutus/Jemima with a passion as well!) 5) Physically, the most handsome men out there would have to be Gale Harold and Wentworth Miller. 6) I actually do want to get married and have kids. In my 30s. But still. 7) People say the word 'tits' is degrading, yet I feel really uncomfortable and think it's more degrading saying 'boobs' and that it's a lot sexier to say 'tits.' I know I'm in the minority, and I worked at a Women's and Gender Studies program so I know most of the reasoning otherwise, but I still don't get it. Does that make me a bad person? 8) I get mad at a lot of my cosplay friends for making me feel guilty about commissioning people when I have a sewing machine. Seriously, there's nothing wrong with commissioning someone. It doesn't mean that I'm going to stop making cosplays altogether, no, but I want to focus on different aspects, mainly wigs and men's militia coats as well as costume design. I want to be able to sew for pleasure, but also have some nice things made. 9) When you hold me, I feel special. When you say you see us as only friends, I feel sad. When you say that you don't have plans and when I suggest some mention doing things with one of your friends and his gf, it makes me feel unwanted. Happy New Year's when it happens, since we'll probably not be together. Eight Ways To Win My Heart: 1) Be brilliant. 2) Grammar. Spelling. Love of reading. Love of writing. 3) LOVE Sigur Rós. Liking them isn't enough. 4) Be cosplay friendly. 5) LOVE horses and be supportive of my passion. 6) Be tolerant and loving. I will not date anyone who thinks that yaoi or yuri is gross. Ever. 7) Accept me as bigender and do not tell me that you don't see me as a guy or girl. 8) Be a really hard worker. Seven Things That Cross My Mind A Lot: 1) The RP I have with Rem. I think about it almost all the time. 2) Horses. What to do with them, forgetting my past, etc. 3) Weight. 4) Death. 5) Sex. 6) How can I get in the mentality to give up things in order to better myself. 7) Where is she? Six Things I Do Before I Fall Asleep: 1) Internet 2) Brush teeth/bed stuff Five Places I Want To Visit: 1) Iceland 2) Ireland 3) Greece 4) Belgium 5) Italy Four Things I'm Wearing Right Now: 1) Eeyore PJ pants 2) Sigur Rós hoodie 3) Harvey Dent shirt 4) Socks Three Bands That I Listen To Often: 1) Sigur Rós 2) Underworld 3) Radiohead Two Things I Want To Do Before I Die: 1) ... 2) ... One Confession: Two instances will stay in my head forever. One was when I was on the train with Rathen, exhausted. I rest my head on his shoulder. This elderly gay couple sitting across from us aww'd a bit loudly, while another guy glared at Rathen with hatred. The second was my first NYAF when I was cosplaying as Allen and walking down the road with Sama and Steph. I was making a comment about this underwear model and this guy, very attractive one around my age, walks past me and spits out the word, "Faggot." I asked did the others hear that and was stunned, too stunned to tell him to shut up, to yell, to say something like, "You wanna tell my boyfriend that?" |
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Merry Xmas Eve, everyone! I filled out and submitted my FAFSA in the odd chance that I might be able to get some financial aid for this semester at Goddard. It's very last minute, I know, but if it works, then that might be really cool since I might save money!!! For other news, did get a wig commission (yay!) and am enjoying myself quite a bit right now! I'm trying to decide whether I should consider spoiling myself commissioning someone to do a unitard/warmers since I can't knit and don't know if I have the skills or resources to paint a good unitard. Grad School is coming up (hence my hesitation), though I did get the commission and I'm expecting Sama to pay me ASAP for the scanner, and at some point would be nice to start getting in some more wig commissions (hoping for some Cats ones since they're so different than what I'm used to, and I'm having fun "humanizing" them). Christmas, spent money but not as much as I normally would. A lot of the stuff I'm giving is homemade: chutney, cookies, breads. I'm finishing up that Tugger wig for Rem as a gift. Behind like hell on stuff for Kale (though I guess I mailed her last year's presents really late so ahah...) Will be making wig stuff for Mary and Kevin too, as they've done so much for me as well and I cannot adequately thank them. Got something for Ted that hopefully he'll like as well, since I'm like five billion gifts behind on him. D: Dylan doesn't really like gift exchanging on holiday times, so I didn't get him anything. Stephanie, I'm making a Demeter tail for. :) I thiiiiink that's it. Might be too last minute but if I get the FAFSA stuff... then yeah, really might do that, especially since it looks like there actually IS some job stuff. Really? Whoa. For Geron and Ange and Shaun, thank you SO Much for the cards. I am so behind on stuff so might do an online card back, but thank you. MUCHLY appreciated. For other people, um, yeah. Wig commissions open, definitely. You know the drill - about $8/hr labor + shipping + stock base for the norm. Cats stuff, would be made from scratch, definitely a lot more interesting for me to make, and since I'm a little newer to it would definitely be more reasonable. My strength, as always, is to branch away from actual performance styles and freestyle some funky stuff, like Glambert Mistoffelees and Hair Metal Band Tugger. Actually, considering the materials and what I have already, probably would end up being the same as a regularly commissioned wig from me since I wouldn't need to buy stock. o_O How'd THAT happen? Oh yeah, but uh, also cheaper for like, wigs that are just one color and shorter, or two colors and shorter, and anything shorter length than Hair Metal Tugger (61 hours into that one, I think, and not quite done, whereas Mr. Emostoffelees was about 21 hours and almost done (needs touch up for me, and me hate glue real bad :P)). And um, yeah. I really want to do stuff from the Rock Opera for it. Like BADLY. Except KISS Tugger, because that scared the shit out of me. And Rock Opera Misto was kinda fugly. BUT EVERYONE ELSE, I'M ALL GAME FOR! Rofl. No, like seriously... I really, really want to go something for Pouncival with the fauxhawk, and the Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer duo with the Square tops, and Tumblebrutus with the blue spikes, and ETCETERA OMFG I MUST BE ETCETERA WITH THE BLOND AND BLUE!!!!, and Jemima's so cute with the pink, and I totally forgot where I was going with all that. Oh yeah, uh, seriously, Rock Opera + Cats = Awesome and something I will HAVE to make at some point, though probably I'd go back to my roots with Kankelon fiber for that since it'd be like... easier. And probably look better. |
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